These wounds are self inflicted...but they were made by you

Well havent really posted in a while so thought id get some stuff down.

Not had the best few months to say to least. had my heart broken by the one person who i thought i could trust. he said hed never leave me ever again when we got back together, but he did in the worst way possible after nearly a 2 year relationship. never thought he could be so cruel.

I nearly killed myself, the temptation to get anti-depressants is overwhelming (but i refuse to rely on a tablet. Id probably take one too many knowing me. Ive..gotten worse hurting myself. Moved up a few stages lets say. Not exactly proud of myself but you know what it helps when i need it and i dont need to explain myself to anybody. Especially when some 'friends' werent even there to help me to begin with so fuck it.

Im just trying to look out for myself for once in my life, putting my needs and what i want first rather than trying to look out for everyone else and be sensative of their feelings. Fuck it i really couldnt care less. In all honest, im suprised that im here, alive.

Theres only one person who is able to cheer me up at the moment and theyre not who i wouldve put my money on lol. they make me smile and distract me. Stuff has happened and i regret nothing, theyre the only one since june 30th 2011, that has managed to make me smile and have it remain there.

Started my second year of uni, so far so good. Ive actually enjoyed it a bit more this year. Talking to more people, and im comfortable with the people that i already know so i can actually be myself to some extent. My friend rebecca though is the only one who knows exactly whats going on in my life and in my head. Shes the only one i seem to trust at the moment.

Got my car in october. shes beautiful i love her. just want to pass my practical now then im off.

We also got a new rottweiler puppy called dexter. Hes lovely though hes started to become a little shit but hes only a puppy so cant blame him too much. its just when he goes to bite my bloody toes ¬¬

nothing else to say really. ive just made a few changes in my life and i realised i shouldve just stuck to what i knew 3 years ago. and thats trust noone.