Theres nothing that kills you most is knowing that the person you love who broke your heart nearly 6 months ago still loves you. I just cant seem to stop crying at the moment, he is always one my mind. I dont want to eat, i dont want to sleep, i just want to curl up into a ball and die.
Have to wear a damn support round my arm just to hide something now =[ Im getting worse. But the sting of it distracts me...
Some of my friends who have partners, whenever they post something about it i just burst into tears and just want to yell at them. But its not their fault at all so if i did i would feel so guilty afterwards. I started crying about 10 minutes ago and i was literally shaking uncontrollably.
I dont know what i did to deserve this, i really dont. He broke my heart but i still love him with all the broken pieces ='[
The stuff that ive done the past 6 months im not proud of myself at all. Ive smoked, i get overly drunk each chance i get as thats the only time im remotely happy. And some other stuff that im not going to write here. I really dont care what people think anymore. Im certain that if i went to the doctors i would go on anti depressants, but i dont want to rely on a pill to make myself feel better. Ive been told i should think about seeing a counsellor but what good would that do? How will going over this whole thing again (which i do on a daily basis) to a complete stranger who doesnt know fuck all about me make me feel any better about this?
Im trying to hard to resist temptation at the moment when its so easy for me to have the physial pain overcome the emotional but i dont want to =[ Theres a empty place inside of me and its only getting bigger. This is pure torture so please just kill me now =[
