this isnt funny anymore

i keep seeing dans name everywhere i go. Like at brighton yesterday in the arcade when u do games where you can set high scores, everyone i looked at his name was on it. and last night i kept picturing his face. then today ive pretty much watched tv all day and on some programmes his name was on it and ive just flicked past weakest link and one of the contestants care called dan.

this is pissing me off now

this couldnt be more annoying

kieron just told me tht he lyks me and wants to make out with me and stuff but he an b in a relationship...god knows why but how exactly do i tell him tht i dont lyk him in tht way. i mean i used to a couple months ago but not know. i lyk someone more than ive ever liked a guy b4 and i just dont know wot to say to him.

people like emily always say to me 'oh at least u have these type of problems' well tbh its not the best thing in the world. kieron is my friend and i dont want to llose him. i mean i was reli reli close with this jake lloyd but then he asked me out and i rejected him twice and now look at us. i hate his guts i cant stand to b in the same vacinity. a couple weeks ago i saw him down in coulsdon with someone and i nearly resorted to my form of 'self harm' i hate him tht much but i didnt cos i realised 1. hes not worth it and 2. i was with some people where i couldnt exactly say wot i was doing, and it didnt help tht i didnt have a jumper with me either so its not lyk i could hide it.

i dont want that to happen between me and kieron. hes a reli gd mate and im scared tht ill lose him. cos i reli dont i guess i could tell him tht im not looking for a relationship and tell him about jake and how i lost him and tht i dont want the same to happen between me and him but... i just dont think i can =[ cos i know tht ill still probably lose him

i just dont know wot to do. =[

gah!! :@

my sisters just told me that while i was out for lyk an hour this afternoon my mum was moaning saying how i keep going out and that i shouldnt and yet its funny how my mum never says this to me. is it my fault that i have friends, is it my fault that i actually have a social life and spend it with the friends who i love to bits ?

and then if i confront my mum about it she always goes 'no i didnt say it like that' nd then she moans at me about the state of my room or something. but the thing is i have a tiny little box for a room how can i possibly tidy it up when i dont have the storage space ?

im just so fed up nd then my mum complains how i hadly speak to her anymore, well wot can u expect if she keeps moaning at me ! grrr im just so frustrated!