:/

Am in such a shit mood.
Was in such a bad mood last night but nothing could be done about it. What was the point. Basically, slept round toms at uni friday night and on saturday because of tom coming home for xmas and the snow his mum and step dad came to pick us up. and i had to stay there last night because i couldnt get home. Got back to his at 3. i literally sat there for 3 hours with nothing to do. tom and shane were playing this game online, and shanes friend was on the xbox. They asked if i wanted to go on it but if he was happily playing it im not going to say no get off it so i can am i?

The most interation i got last night was after dinner at 6 when those 3 went up stairs and i talked to toms mum for about a hour about random things. Or when me and tom went downstairs just before bed. and that was at 1:30 in the morning. Rest of the time i was just lying there with nothing to do. Even when i first laid down on the bed i asked tom to give me some cuddles, and even then he was complaining saying how hes not tired/doesnt want to go to bed. But all i wanted was a cuddle. I didnt say anything about him going to bed. But i knew he just wanted to play that online game with shane.

I contemplated whether i should just leave and try walking home in the snow. Yeah it would take me a couple hours but at least id be doing something.

Anyway this morning his mum and step dad brought me home. got home about half hour ago. and noone was in they all went to tescos or something. But cos of our new alarm system ive never turned it off before. they told me how but cos ive never done it i panicked and thought shit what if i dont do it right, what if i cant do it etc. The alarm is connected to the police so if it keeps going off the police would come. So i thought fuck it im not goin to do it. But i didnt know hwo long theyd be. So i used my last bit of credit to text my mum saying call me. And she didnt. i waited 10 minutes and she didnt. So i opened the front door threw my bags in and shut the door so the alarm wouldnt go off. went next door to my neighbours and asked if i could use their phone to call them. my mum said theyd be home soon so just wait. so i did. and when they got back, all i got was fucking grief! My dad was calling me stupid saying oh use your fucking brain for once and stuff. oh what if the alarm picked you up when you put your stuff in what would you have done then, you shouldve just fucking waited etc.

While i was waiting for my mum to call me, i punched the wall in the porch now my wrist is a bit sore :/ awell
Just had a little cry to let some of it out but now im in such a bad mood =[

Ergh

I hate getting wound up over the same thing over and over again. But with this it cant be helped :/ no matter what happens i will always shake with anger whenever i think about a certain thing ¬¬

Doesnt matter whether i dont have to see it anymore or whatever but my anger towards them will never go away. I dont give a shit. I will fucking beat the shit out of them if they come anywhere near me.

Piece of shit has been affecting me for 2 years now. Fucking dickead.